2018 may have had a number of great films that blew the minds of those who had the pleasure of seeing them, but it also produced some absolute stinkers which I’ve highlighted here so you can stay far away. From 10 to 1 these are the 10 films that released last year you’d be smart to avoid.
#10 – Bad Times at the El Royale
Bad Times at the El Royale had some good things going for it, it boasted a talented cast, a neo-noir setting, and the initial indication of an intriguing story before it all falls apart. In terms of style the quality is all there, with sweeping cinematography that captures the scenery well. But the story lost me relatively quickly and it continued to lose me with each passing minute to the point of becoming quite boring in the end. At #10 it’s obviously not the worst movie on this list as it does some things quite well but it gets a mention nonetheless so you don’t need to see this, even for Chris Hemsworth.
#9 – Truth or Dare
Here we go, another typical generic supernatural slasher with a lack of intriguing characters, a cut-and-paste story, and the absence of any scares. Truth or Dare at best gives out a small handful of creepy moments but they don’t last long and amongst the other laughable attempts at horror they just disappear. Speaking of laughable, the whole smiling gimmick on its own isn’t that scary, it just looks dumb and silly and in a theatre setting I’d imagine would garner more laughs than anything else. There are so many more better horror movies out there but as you may see coming up there’s also a couple of worse ones.
#8 – A Wrinkle in Time
I can’t believe I almost forgot this movie existed… unfortunately it’s just an almost. A Wrinkle in Time was Disney’s big family sci-fi film of the year, the trailer was filled with special effects, colours, and Oprah… and I could smell the stench of this one from a mile away. I had the lowest of low expectations for this one and I must say it delivered because this movie is an absolute bore. Just about the only thing that works in here is Storm Reid‘s performance and the heart she brings to the story… that’s it. The pacing is off, the story isn’t engaging in the slightest, and the blinding visual effects don’t really do it any favours either. The thing I remember most from this movie is when I was contemplating whether to stay awake in the theatre. For a family movie on a lazy Sunday I guess some may enjoy it but it’s an uninspired bore for the most part.
#7 – The Strangers: Prey at Night
Making a sequel to a horror movie that released 10 years prior and that everyone had basically forgotten about sounds like a terrible idea right? Well that’s because it is. This sequel doesn’t offer much at all in terms of scares or a story that isn’t 100% predictable from beginning to end. Characters make infuriatingly dumb decisions, the villains may as well be superheroes with the shit they endure, and the whole thing comes across as rushed and unpolished. Some jarring camera-work and jumpy editing throws you off here and there with one shot in particular which is memorably bad. Now this is a dumb and bad horror movie but it still isn’t the worst on the list which is astounding.
#6 – The Kissing Booth
Now this, this is a dumb movie. The Kissing Booth is the product of a book written by a 15 year old girl adapted to a film by an adult male and it’s disastrous. The story is dumb and cheesy, the dialogue is laughably atrocious, and any attempt at genuine humour is an absolute mess. The only amusement you get out of this story is laughing at it rather than with it. Look, there are people who are going to sit down to this movie and have a laugh and if that works then that’s fine, I’ll just be over here avoiding it. Joey King brings some likeable qualities to the film so it’s not really her fault but she may have to pick some better roles.
#5 – Mute
Ah Mute… to be completely honest, I had forgotten this movie even existed until I began putting this list together, and I wish I never had to remember it. This movie is a fucking mess. It’s all out of whack tonally with scenes that don’t fit at all, the pacing is all over the shop where there are many times it just grinds to a halt. The story lacks any depth or intrigue and every one of the main characters is either boring or infuriating to watch. The performances can’t even save this movie from being a total disaster especially those involved in that one subplot which is sickening but is made into a joke for some reason. It’s an absolute shit-storm and the only thing it gets right to near perfection are the visuals because they are stunning.
#4 – Slender Man
Well would you look at that, another horror film and coincidentally the second film featuring Joey King on this list. Slender Man is sleep inducing horror at its absolute finest, it’s shockingly edited, horribly written, and the production issues most certainly didn’t help it. The editing in the progression of the film is so bad it feels like entire scenes are missing which leads to momentary confusion while you have to keep regaining your bearings. The scares are just typical jump scares every time and any time there is the option to go for some atmospheric scares the chance is never taken. This is one of the only films I’ve seen in the theatre that I had to fight to stay awake in because it is a complete bore. It does one thing successfully which is strip away the terrifying nature of the Slender Man character… that at least is impressive.
#3 – The Titan
Here we have the top three and straight away I can tell these are three films that are better off forgotten entirely. The Titan is a Netflix film with a story which had a glimpse of potential if done well. But as it turns out, this is an absolute shit-storm on a number of levels. It’s a dreadfully bland and lifeless sci-fi story that moves along at an agonisingly slow pace. What it covers in the first hour and 10 minutes could have been summed up in 30-40 minutes leaving plenty of time for the climax. Whereas here theres around 20 minutes left for shit to go down and it all goes down so fast that by the time there is any sort of drama the credits are rolling. No one brings anything to the film in terms of their performances and Sam Worthington is a horrible lead who may as well have been sleepwalking through this whole thing. This is one of those movies you show people to torture them because you can’t even enjoy making fun of it.
#2 – Game Over, Man!
Hey look at this, another disastrously shitty Netflix movie that no one should have the displeasure of seeing. Game Over, Man! is an action comedy from the Workaholics crew except the action is a lifeless bore and the comedy is literally nonexistent. I mean, they do go for the jokes, they go for them very often, but not a single one hits successfully making this movie a struggle to get through. To be completely honest I don’t even remember what the plot of this one is about, so the fact that the plot is forgettable and there isn’t a single good joke speaks volumes for its quality. But surprisingly enough it still isn’t number one because there is only one film and one franchise that could be worse.
#1 – Fifty Shades Freed
This is a triumphant appearance if you ask me… this marks the first trilogy in which every entry has made it onto my worst of the year list so congratulations to the Fifty Shades franchise. And on top of that each entry has progressively gotten higher so that’s a double congratulations there, I don’t think another series of films will ever be able to pull this off in my lifetime. Fifty Shades Freed caps off this fart-box of a trilogy and brings along with it every one of the issues carried by the first two films. Nothing in here is even remotely good. The writing sucks, acting is lifeless, dialogue is painful, and if you asked what this movie was about… not a whole lot. The bulk of this film is about nothing in particular, it’s just following Christian and Ana live their stupendously boring married life. Oh that is except for the crime thriller plot which takes over the third act of the movie because, you know, you can’t cap off a trilogy without some crime thriller plot twists. The plot is stupidly random so many times that there are actually surprises in here… none of them good though.
But with that all said and done, I have to admit that unlike the majority of this list, Fifty Shades Freed you can actually watch purely with the intention of making fun of it. There are so many hilariously stupid moments that unlike the comedy in the #2 spot there a tonne of laughs to be had here. Knock back some drinks and throw this on and your night of entertainment is sorted. But that’s it for this list and that’s it for this trilogy. I’m glad that with the truck-loads of money it has made it also manages to take home the #1 spot on this list. It’s like a fairytale ending of sorts.