For the first time in his career, Jerry Seinfeld has stepped into the director’s chair to fulfil his life-long dream of turning a comedy bit about Pop-Tarts into a feature film. As writer, producer, director and star, he tells the story of rival breakfast companies Kellogg’s and Post, who race to create a breakfast cake that would change American lives forever.
To put it simply, Unfrosted is a tough watch, but it’s by no means an incompetently made film. Seinfeld achieved exactly what he set out to do – create a silly parody of ‘rival company’ and ‘product origin’ films that focuses on an equally silly concept. The problem is, it’s just too ridiculous and over-the-top to even be enjoyable. The slapstick elements and crazy scenarios are more eye-rolling than they are fun, with only a small handful of moments actually working. If this had come out at the height of parody films in the early-mid 2000s, it probably would have found a market, but now this style just doesn’t work. The humour throughout ranges from dumb to downright nonsensical, and nearly every bit is trying so hard to be funny that it ultimately stumbles on itself. While all the comedy bits that were painfully spelled out crashed and burned, the very few moments that actually garnered a bit of a chuckle were the more subtle jokes. There’s one or two witty one-liners, as well as a single well-executed moment that the entire film was probably based around, but that’s all the 97 minute runtime offers in terms of laughs.
If the jokes don’t hit, that means the story does right… right? Being an old-school parody, the narrative is as simple, barebones and unexciting as you can imagine. It weaves together all sorts of nonsense, forcing the characters into situations where Seinfeld can implement one dumb joke after the next. Contrary to an actual Pop-Tart, this narrative is a hollow, lifeless bore, offering so little you could take unpaused toilet breaks and not miss a thing. There’s even some completely random and baffling subplots put in here for no reason whatsoever. One such subplot follows a sentient ravioli… yes, you read that right. Why is this a thing? Who knows. It gets introduced around half way through, then we continue to check in on the status every now and then. Some of the concepts are so nonsensical for an adult audience that they’d be better suited in some animated kids series.
Jerry Seinfeld has used his legendary status in the worlds of comedy and Hollywood to stack this film with more comedy greats and A-list actors than Oppenheimer. The presence of Amy Schumer, Jim Gaffigan and Hugh Grant, to name a few, isn’t beneficial to the comedy in the slightest. I’d put most of the blame on the writing of the comedy, but the uninspired performances aren’t doing any favours. On the contrary, the presence of Bill Burr is so dumb that it works, and he’s just about the only one who comes to mind. As for Seinfeld himself… I’ve seen a lot better from the man who created one of the all-time great sitcoms, and this doesn’t come close. I believe Netflix got excited at the idea of Seinfeld directing his first big feature for them, and they let him do whatever he wanted.
Before we wrap up, it must be mentioned that despite all the comedy and narrative shortcomings, the visual style is a refreshing touch. It leans into the craziness of its parody concept with loud, vibrant and overly polished visuals that make every scene snap, crackle and pop. It’s a look that I don’t typically find enjoyable, but it’s a blessing in this otherwise bland film.
In the end, Unfrosted is nothing more than an uninspired parody that’s been released 20 years too late. The approach to make it as dumb, silly, ridiculous and nonsensical as possible sounds like it might work in theory, but it just makes for a tough, eye-roll inducing watch. Jerry Seinfeld’s magic touch doesn’t do anything to elevate the film, with so few genuinely funny moments you can count them on one hand. If your choice of comedy is between Unfrosted an almost anything else, you’re better off doing with option B.
3/10
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