‘TWIN PEAKS’ (2017) Season 3 Episode 16 – TV Review – “I Am The FBI” Fuck Yeah You Are!!! Fuck Yeah!!!
OK HOLY SHIT!!! Before i begin i have to welcome everyone to the review of what is hands down the best episode of this new season of Twin Peaks and one of the greatest that the show has ever seen. We jump around a but in this episode between the main players and it is packed to the brim full of crazy, insane, exciting, nostalgic, and just awe-inspiring moments that have been a really really long fucking time coming. We get massive developments with Evil Cooper, Audrey Horne, Diane, and Special Agent Dale Fucking Cooper. That’s right, i don’t have to call him Dougie anymore…… this episode made me realise how much i have missed the Dale Cooper of old…. and now he’s back, right in time for the final double episode. I will focus on each of the storylines individually in order of when they begin beginning with Evil Cooper. Now strap yourselves in because this is going to be a really long one.
We begin once again with Evil Cooper and Richard Horne driving down the road to yet another destination, unfortunately we don’t get to hear their car ride conversation, if there even was one. This time he’s looking for ‘a place’, a place that multiple sets of coordinates he’s received might be pointing to, and here it seems to be atop a large rock on the top of a small hill. And then suddenly, over a hill nearby IT’S JERRY!!! He’s still running and he comes over the hill like a fucking high superhero, i can just imagine the ‘Chariots of Fire’ theme playing over the back of this scene making it 100 times more epic. Jerry then catches sight of Evil Cooper and Richard Horne moving towards the rock and decides to watch them through his binoculars. But Jerry being the amazing being he is tries to use the binoculars by looking through one eye and backwards, now where the imbecile can still see it’s quite small.
Richard then climbs the rock with a small GPS device under the instruction of Evil Cooper. Upon reaching the exact spot the coordinates were pointing to Richard is instantly electrocuted with sparks flying from his body. He continues to burn up and then gets incinerated into thin air. Maybe Evil Cooper knew what would happen but i don’t know….. something tells me he didn’t know that was going to happen and he let Richard go to the location to ensure he did not get harmed himself. And then with three brief words Evil Cooper confirms a fact that had long been theorised, that Richard is the offspring of Audrey Horne and Evil Cooper. “Goodbye my son” he says as he shoots Diane a cheeky text and moves on with his night…….. Classic Lynchian reveal (more of a confirmation) right there.
Ok, so now we move on to the storyline that takes up the majority of the episode and that is revolving around the Jones household and the currently mid-coma Dougie Jones. Hutch and Chantal make their way to Dougie’s house and camp outside in their van downing a tonne of snacks…… their love of food is real and it is beautiful. Then all of a sudden, the FBI rocks up to the house and realise no-one is home, so they leave to check out his place of work. Now while his house has already seen two visitors Dougie is lying quietly in a hospital bed in a coma. Then the Mitchum brothers show up in the hospital room to give their best wishes to their new best friend. They bring with them their girls carrying a tonne of finger food that i guess is for the visitors…… The highlight of this scene has to be Bradley Mitchum saying “All things considered, he looks good”…. great thing to say about someone currently in a coma.
One of the themes throughout this season has been electricity, whether it be the random shots of powerlines, the electric clouds, Richard getting incinerated, or Dr Amp and his gold shit-digging shovels, it is something that has been heavily featured in a number of episodes. And that is no different here as not once but twice Bradley Mitchum mentions the involvement of electricity in Dougie’s coma. Shortly after the Mitchum brothers leave to go stock up Dougie’s house and Janey-E and Sonny Jim also leave the room. We also learn through a phone call Bushnell receives that the FBI are on their way to the hospital.
Back outside the Jones household where Hutch and Chantal are awaiting Dougie’s arrival a whole bunch of shit starts to go down. An FBI car rocks up and also camps outside Dougie’s house awaiting his arrival. Then another two cars show up and this time it’s the Mitchum brothers who have come to stock up their house with a range of gifts and food. So at this point we have had four arrivals at the Jones household, none of which are Dougie Jones, and we aren’t done yet. A Polish accountant played by Jonny Coyne drives up to Hutch and Chantal’s van informing them that they are blocking his driveway. Still pissed off about running out of things to snack on Chantal tells him to fuck off and then we get a mini action sequence that unfolds. The accountant begins ramming their van and in retaliation Chantal shoots at him, then in retaliation the accountant shoots back, then Hutch joins in the neighbourhood shooting before attempting to drive away. Just remember that while all this is going on the FBI agents are just sitting back and letting shit unfold. Then as Hutch and Chantal drive off the accountant plugs them with a flurry of bullets and now they’re both out of the picture. It was all going down at the Jones household.
Back in the hospital the moment we have all been waiting for arrives, some would say 15 hours too late but i say just in time. Bushnell follows a mysterious high-pitched tone out of the hospital room leaving Dougie alone. And then the holy shit moment happens with the real Special Agent Dale Cooper waking up in an instant feeling “100%”. Right away MIKE appears to him communicating to him from the red room. He informs Dale Cooper that Evil Cooper did not go back in and that he is still out roaming the world causing havoc. Mike then presents Cooper with the owl ring and is asked whether he still has the seed. The seed, for those of you who don’t know is the small gold pearl-like object that was left behind when the real Dougie Jones’ body disappeared in the red room at the beginning of the season. MIKE does in fact have the seed and then Cooper instructs MIKE to make another seed and hands him a small lock of his hair. Throughout this scene and the scenes that follow Agent Dale Cooper is very astute and confident as though he knows exactly what situation he is in and what he needs to do.
Janey-E and Sonny Jim walk back into the room and we see that rather than being dumbfounded as to who these people are he seems to know their identities and Dougie’s relationship to them. This would suggest that for the last 15 episodes Dale Cooper has been watching through the eyes of Dougie not really being able to fully control the body. But rather than reveal who he really is he goes along with the character of Dougie Jones. After getting dressed and downing a bunch of finger sandwiches supplied by the Mitchum brothers he calls up the brothers and gets them to organise a plane so that he can fly to Washington. Then the nostalgia kicks in as the Twin Peaks theme starts playing and this is it….. we are finally home. Cooper hands Bushnell a note to read to Gordon Cole in the event that he calls. And then as Cooper is leaving the hospital Bushnell informs him about the FBI looking for him and he turns to Bushnell and responds with “I am the FBI”. OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL FUCKING MOMENT. I had to pause it and take it in…… our main man is back, the Twin Peaks theme is playing, and i am in heaven.
A little later in the episode we get a short but surprisingly very emotional scene where Agent Cooper is saying a final goodbye to Janey-E and Sonny Jim as Dougie Jones. He accidentally lets slip that he isn’t really Dougie and Janey-E catches on but he continues to assure them that he really is Dougie in order to give the family some comfort. And with that Dougie leaves with the Mitchum brothers to catch his plane. This scene got me thinking, he mentions that he will return to them, was this just words of comfort so they aren’t completely devastated or does he plan to return to the family once he has dealt with his doppelganger problem. I think if all goes to plan he might actually return…. Then we get Dougie in the car with the Mitchum brothers who he has just explained in full who he is and where he needs to go; an FBI agent who has been missing for 25 years and is heading towards Twin Peaks. Of course the Mitchum brothers think he’s nuts but as characters tend to do with this show they just go with it.
Now we move over to Diane’s portion of the episode which is absolutely fucking hectic, mind-blowing, and consists of a reveal that changes almost everything we have learnt about her so far this season. Sitting at the bar she receives the text that Evil Cooper sent her way in the beginning of the episode. Her reaction to its contents is a very complex one, she appears very shocked at first and then terrified as if she has just seen something horrible that has or has not yet happened. Then she replies with a bunch of numbers that are most likely coordinates, coordinates we soon find out lead to the sheriff’s station. Diane makes her way over to Gordon Cole’s room and decides she is going to tell the team about the night Cooper came to visit her…… Be ready for a dark and depressing scene that escalates to total insanity.
The story goes as follows……. It was 3-4 years after she stopped hearing from Cooper. One night he just walked into her house and stood in her living room. They hugged and began talking on her sofa, but he only seemed to want to know about what was going on at the bureau. Then he leaned in to kiss her and as soon as their lips touched she knew something was wrong, as if she could feel the evil inside him. She felt afraid, but he smiled, then he began to rape her……. After that he took her to an old gas station. And then that is the point in the story where she begins freaking out. She starts mentioning the sheriff’s station and the numbers before repeating the words “I’m not me”. Still repeating the words she reaches into her handbag for her gun but before she can shoot Gordon and Co. they pull out their guns and plug her with bullets. But she weirdly doesn’t suffer any bullet holes and instead her body slingshots into thin air. There we have another entry in the Blue Rose cases, and Tammy instantly recognises Diane as a Tulpa………. More on that in a bit as the weirdness doesn’t end there.
Diane then appears in the red room opposite MIKE, sitting in the same chair Dougie Jones was sitting in when he was transported to the red room early in the season. And just like in that scene with Dougie MIKE tells Diane “Someone manufactured you”, the same thing he told Dougie. Except Diane seemed to be aware of this fact, probably after her recent freak-out. Then her face cracks open and another gold orb floats out of it just like with Dougie. Then her head disappears followed by her body all leaving behind a small silver seed, presumably the seed Agent Dale Cooper instructed MIKE to make earlier this episode. So here we just learned that the Diane we have been following this entire season was never the Diane we knew from the original series. Rather she was a doppelganger (or Tulpa, as she is described) of the real Diane that was probably created when Evil Cooper took her to the gas station. And it appears as though the real Diane is either trapped somewhere or just straight up dead and has been for a really long time. So now with all of this talk about Tulpas that could explain why Sarah Palmer was able to pull her face off back in episode 14, maybe she is a Tulpa as well.
Then we move on to the final storyline of the episode where we follow Audrey Horne and her dick of a husband actually outside the house at the Roadhouse. What firstly looked as though it was going to be just a normal scene turns a little weird and very very nostalgic. We already had the classic Twin Peaks theme play over Dale Coopers return earlier this episode and now the dance floor clears and the band starts playing ‘Audrey’s Dance’. This classic Twin Peaks song has appeared a number of times in the original series most notably in Season 1 Episode 3 where Audrey performs a slow dance in the RR Diner to the tune. Here she replicates that scene with an extended slow dance under some truly beautiful lighting. Is this David Lynch’s way of apologising for all of the previous Audrey Horne scenes this season??? Suddenly her dance gets interrupted by a fight that breaks out between two men.
Then this scene get super weird and confusing as she runs up to her husband and pleads “get me out of here” and as soon as she says that she appears in a blinding white room staring into a mirror surrounded by the constant sound of electricity. She appeared very shocked and out of breath and this just leads to a lot of questions as to where on Earth she might be. Did she really teleport into that room at that moment or has she been in there this whole time and was just imagining all of that stuff with her husband and Billy. I honestly have no idea where this is going but i cannot see this not being explained in the final two episodes next week.
And there we have it, the best episode of the season comes to a close and what an incredible penultimate episode it was. There was not a second of it that wasn’t straight up fantastic, from the big reveals, to big plot developments, to big nostalgic moments that have been a long time coming i have to say stuff the 1-10 scale this episode gets a fucking 11/10 because i day so. (Yeah i guess it’s still a 10/10 though)